I cried in Target today.
I mean, its bad enough I went there with out-of-control frizzy hair wearing "I'm planning to scrub the shower" yoga pants (an occurrence that's increasing w/alarming frequency). But to stand in the back-to-school aisle looking that way with a cart full of single-serving mac & cheese containers frantically blinking back tears...well, I'm surprised no one ran to the customer service counter yelling "Quick, there's a disheveled looking mom planning to feed her family lots of processed food having a breakdown next to the pencils"!
Its just that I saw the lunch boxes and I can't believe I need to buy one. Buddy is going to be in a half-day program in the fall and eating lunch at school 3 days a week. Plus, Buster is going to be in the 2 year old program Buddy was in last year. The thought of Buddy walking into school, lunch box in hand and Buster bringing home messy artwork to hang on the fridge alongside his brother's...seriously, how did we reach this point already? How did the part with the bottles and the cribs and the rocking to sleep and the being the center of their universe - how did that part go by so fast?
Its crazy, this parenting thing. One day a baby comes into your life and instantly becomes the most important person in your whole world. Yet from that moment on, your job is to prepare them to go out into the world, to let them go a tiny bit each day. Every "first" and milestone leaves you bursting with pride, but it also breaks your heart a little too.
It's awesome, watching the boys grow up. I can't wait to see what kind of people they become, but I often find myself thinking "Wait, slow down. Don't change so fast. I'm not ready to let you go".
It's surprising to me that of all the challenges of parenting, I'm finding letting go to be the hardest part.