I cried in Target today.
I mean, its bad enough I went there with out-of-control frizzy hair wearing "I'm planning to scrub the shower" yoga pants (an occurrence that's increasing w/alarming frequency). But to stand in the back-to-school aisle looking that way with a cart full of single-serving mac & cheese containers frantically blinking back tears...well, I'm surprised no one ran to the customer service counter yelling "Quick, there's a disheveled looking mom planning to feed her family lots of processed food having a breakdown next to the pencils"!
Its just that I saw the lunch boxes and I can't believe I need to buy one. Buddy is going to be in a half-day program in the fall and eating lunch at school 3 days a week. Plus, Buster is going to be in the 2 year old program Buddy was in last year. The thought of Buddy walking into school, lunch box in hand and Buster bringing home messy artwork to hang on the fridge alongside his brother's...seriously, how did we reach this point already? How did the part with the bottles and the cribs and the rocking to sleep and the being the center of their universe - how did that part go by so fast?
Its crazy, this parenting thing. One day a baby comes into your life and instantly becomes the most important person in your whole world. Yet from that moment on, your job is to prepare them to go out into the world, to let them go a tiny bit each day. Every "first" and milestone leaves you bursting with pride, but it also breaks your heart a little too.
It's awesome, watching the boys grow up. I can't wait to see what kind of people they become, but I often find myself thinking "Wait, slow down. Don't change so fast. I'm not ready to let you go".
It's surprising to me that of all the challenges of parenting, I'm finding letting go to be the hardest part.
I'm not dealing with the letting go part gracefully either. When it comes time for lunch boxes, I'll probably be crying, too. :(
ReplyDeleteOh, you are so not alone in the feelings of "slow down... I'm not ready to let you go yet!" I'm feeling this daily as back to school mania has hit everywhere lately. I'm trying to get Duder ready for kindergarten but I'm not enjoying it at all. I keep thinking "but he is only a 3.5 year old trapped in a 5 year old body, can't I have another year or two?!?"
ReplyDeleteI recently saw a mom post "Motherhood... the days are long but the years are short." I think that's so true. Some days I can't believe how quickly my son has grown up too.
ReplyDeleteBack to school is such an emotional time. My baby boy is starting 1st grade and my baby girl is starting preschool for the first time. I can hardly stand it! But they're also so much fun and I'm trying to enjoy each new phase as they grow! I completely agree with the "days aer long but the years are short" philosophy - my friend and I have been saying that for years. It's so hard to let go. Thinking of you!
ReplyDelete~Christy
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