Monday, August 16, 2010

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I'm going to buy a plane ticket today.

Actually, I was going to buy it a month ago. And then again last Monday. And then pretty much every day since.

Today I'm going to do it though.

I'm going to stop freaking out about leaving the kids home alone with Chris for two days and I'm going to stop feeling guilty about spending 48 hours with my college roommates and their babies...even though it makes me feel a little bit nauseous. Actually a lot nauseous.

I'm going to do it because I'm not going to allow myself to continue under the delusion that I need to be with my kids every.single.second in order for them to survive. They will be here, in their home, with their father, for two days and they will be okay. They will miss me, but they will still play and laugh and eat and sleep and beg to watch "just one more" Diego like they always do.

I'm going to do it because as much as I love my kids, I need a break and I'm going to stop lugging around the guilt that comes with admitting that. Maybe my mom - with her patience and practical-ness and soothing words - didn't need a break, but I am not my mom. Just because I'm not my mom doesn't mean I'm a bad one.

I'm going to do it because I love my friends and being with them makes me happy. I can't wait to hold their babies, to reminisce about our crazy college days and to stay up late talking about what it's like being a mom.

Today I'm going to do it.


  1. Go girl!! We can't wait to see you! We will get you through those 48 hours...just the 3 of we did back in 314...when life was simpler, though we thought it was tough. We will unite together, as friends, as mothers, as confidants. We will lift each others spirits. We will laugh, and surely cry, and thank God that we were lucky enough to find each other. I am proud of you. It takes guts to leave your children. Glad you were able to take this leap of faith, I hope that I can follow in your foot steps someday soon.


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  3. Yes, you should definitely do it! We are so excited to have you visit us! Motherhood is so tough and I have only been at it 2+ weeks ha ha!
    The days of was so carefree then. Life is so rewarding now but also more complicated. Can't wait to reminisce about old times! Love you!

  4. Enjoy your visit. I know how you feel about going away. Celeste

  5. So, did you do it? Do you have flight reservations?

  6. I hope you did it! You deserve it. Although it is hard for you - it is good for not only you but everyone. They have to learn to be apart from you just as you from them. Especially as they grow. Plus you are so lucky to have the great friends you do. You won't regret it!!!

  7. I'm hoping that you did it. :) I really hope that you will take a short trip just to visit your friends. Your family will be fine...

  8. I hope you did it and your trip is wonderful!