Wednesday, November 10, 2010

National Adoption Awareness Month - Week 2

It took us one year to decide to adopt after we went to our first agency-sponsored adoption meeting. I remember driving home from that meeting thinking "Adoption is a great option...for somebody else's family". It wasn't something that felt right for us.

Part of that was coming to terms with infertility, but truthfully, it was mostly about fear.

Fear that an adopted child would never feel like "mine".

Fear that we'd end up a horror story on the news, our child ripped from our arms and returned to a birth parent years after our adoption was complete.

Fear that I'd view adoption as a consolation prize and my child would know it.

Fear that my child would end up resenting me because I was not the "real parent".

Fear that our child would carry physical and emotional scars from orphanage or foster care that we wouldn't be able to handle.

Fear that adoption would mark us as different, that we'd never fit in with "normal" families.

I know adoption isn't for everyone, but if fear is your motivation for dismissing it without much consideration, look again. Read adoption websites and blogs, research agencies and programs, talk to other parents. If I haven't done that, I would've missed out on the chance to parent the two people I love most in this world.

9 comments:

  1. I'm so happy your fears are overcome :)

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  2. Facing our fears is when we grow the most. So glad you were able to face yours and turn them in to something so beautiful!

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  3. It's wonderful that you didn't let fear stand in your way!

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  4. Stopping by from Mel's blog round up. Thank you for sharing, so true that fear can keep us from so many amazing things in life if we let it. I too hope I can move past my fears.

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  5. Hiya, would you be able to email me? I have an email address on my profile page, I can't see one on yours or a twitter link either. It's good, I promise:) Jen

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  6. Love this post. It's so true!

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  7. wow, what a gorgeous post...Yes I think that we all have reservations about things, (even the IF and doing treatments etc) but then we find the people who are there, doing it, in the trenches and we feel like "if they can, I can. "

    thanks for posting this...it was beautiful.

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  8. what a beautiful post. I felt many of those fears in the past. I too am so happy to have moved past those so I could have the most wonderful child in the world become part of my family.

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  9. Beautifully written. I have been trying to put these emotions into words and you did it beautifully!

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