Friday, November 5, 2010

I Get It Now

When Buddy first learned to give kisses, he would frequently surprise his recipient with a wet smooch, leaning in toward the receiver with lips closed and then opening them as soon as his lips touched yours. It was equal parts adorable and disgusting.

I can't remember when he stopped doing that, but he did. Never again will I be on the receiving end of one of baby Buddy's wet kisses.

I started thinking today, as Buster sat next to me, absently petting my leg as he frequently does, that one day that too will end.

Its inconceivable to me right now, when the presence of a toddler on my hip or gripping my hand is so commonplace, that the sheer physical closeness I share with the boys won't always be.

Of course, even as adults, there will be hugs and kisses and pats on the back, but just like Buddy's baby kisses, there will be so many other moments that will come to an end. I wonder, will it happen abruptly, a sudden refusal to sit on my lap that knocks the wind out of me? Or will it be gradual, morphing ever so slightly over such a long stretch of time that I don't notice until it's gone?

When will be the last time I feel the weight of a sleepy child's head on my shoulder? When will I stop holding their hands, kissing their boo-boos and tickling their bellies?

And years from now, long after they've left childhood behind, will I still feel the urge to pull them onto my lap or carelessly stroke their heads?

Suddenly, I understand why my parents still remind me to drive carefully, still ask me to "call when you get there!", still rush to my side when I struggle.

I'll try to stop rolling my eyes at them. I get it now.

I once sat on their laps too.


  1. It stops slowly and comes around all to quickly. I think I am doing well though, my eldest is 8 now and asked me to stop kissing him when he was 5 but I am still allowed give him hugs and cuddles:) I remember the open mouthed kisses and I always loved them, so cute, if somewhat wet! Jen

  2. hmmm...good to keep in mind and as i deal with my mother's constant nagging ;)

  3. Hmmm... I don't know when that will be, but at least it isn't today. :)

  4. This post is so sweet. I guess there will be a lot more things we'll *get* about our parents now.

  5. Oh, mama. You tugged my heartstrings today. It is SO easy to take the little things for granted, and you've reminded me to appreciate those things.

  6. I am in denial that this will ever happen, but I know it will! Thanks for the reminder to snuggle with my boys tonight!

  7. Oh my gosh, I think all the time about how Bonsai won't give me slobbery kisses and giant hugs when he's a teenager, and it breaks my heart. I mean, I know it would be weird if he did (he is a VERY affectionate toddler!), but I'll miss it so much! You're so right too that it offers a great insight into what it's like for our parents to see us walking around as grownups when those baby moments are still so clear in their minds. Lovely post--made me cry!

  8. It will break my heart when I can no longer rub his soft baby skin and give and get little kisses. And I feel awful for not letting my parents hug me more.