Thursday, July 1, 2010

What's in a name?

Welcome! I assume at this point anyone reading this has found me from my other blog, so I'm not going to bore you with a redundant "getting to know me" first post.

I've been thinking about starting this for awhile, knowing I wanted a blog where I could write more honestly about being a mom without infringing on the kids' privacy. I wanted a blog where I could write about the common experiences shared by all parents and the ones unique to adoption. I wanted a blog where I could celebrate our victories and share our struggles without constantly evaluating what details were appropriate for just any reader to see. What I didn't know was what I wanted to name it.

The other day I was cleaning out my car and stumbled upon an I Spy board book I hadn't seen since our NJ road trip last summer. It made me think of that scene in When Harry Met Sally, where Sally explains that she broke up with her boyfriend after a friend's daughter pointed out a family during a game of I Spy. I realized that was the perfect name for my blog.

My biggest fear prior to adopting was that we'd always feel like an adoptive family, forever defined by how our family was formed, never able to just be like everybody else.

People who see us walking down the street may not think we are a family. Our children were born in different countries; they don't share my smile or Chris's eyes. We can't tell them about their first breathes or first smiles. We write "unknown" on the family history section of medical forms. We talk about birth moms and celebrate family days, experiences that are necessary only in adoption.

Adoption is part of who we are. But, despite my fear, it does not define us.

We play in the park and go for walks. We talk about our days during dinner and read stories before bed. We deal with sharing toys, spilled drinks and potty training. We take vacations to the beach and drag our kids to football games at the college where we met. We love each other, even when we drive each other crazy. In these ways, we are just like every other family.

That's what I hope to write about here, the ups and downs of being a family that happens to be formed through adoption. So...thanks for joining me.


  1. I once heard a mom say that she has had some wonderful conversations with strangers at the park about adoption. But, what she deeply wanted was for them not to notice her family's differences and to have wonderful conversations about other stuff.

    I am glad that you have a new blog... I'll be following!

  2. I did a similar thing too. I have a blog that is less private that I'll keep up only until our daughter's TC. At that point, I'm moving over to the family adventure's blog. It seems like a plan. :)