Leaving the nest

Dear Buster,

I often wonder if, as the younger brother, you will feel like your "firsts" don't matter as much to us - especially since you are just 15 months younger than Buddy, reaching so many milestones just after he does. I'll admit it's something I worried about before we adopted you. I hoped I'd be able to make you feel special.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about; not only do your "firsts" feel as momentous as they did when Buddy reached them, but they also feel unique. You accomplishments are so distinctly you and make me feel happy and proud in a way that only you can do.

So Wednesday, when I walked you to your first day of preschool, I felt the same nervous butterflies I felt last year when I took Buddy. After I waved good-bye, I sat in the car and wiped the tears from my cheeks just like I did the year before...except maybe I even cried a few more.

You are my child who views life as one big adventure. The child who isn't afraid to climb to the top of the tall slide and jump in the deep end and fly down the big hill on your tricycle. The child who does not cling to me and beg me to stay, but rather releases my hand and darts away, confident you can handle whatever comes your way.

I know you will embrace all that life has to offer and I love that about you...but it makes my heart ache a little bit too. Today I had the priviledge of picking you up after school, of taking you out for a special lunch and sitting across from you while you told me all about your day. I can't help but think of all the days in the future, when your need to explore the world will lead you further away from me.

Buster, where ever life takes you - whether its the school down the street or a city far away - I want you to know that I will always be here, cheering you on and looking forward to the next time I get to sit across from you while you tell me all about your day.

As hard as it is for me to let you go, I'm so excited to share in your adventures.